The Art of Being Small
Embracing Insignificance to Feel More Deeply Connected
Thank you for stopping by. It means a lot to me.
I’d like to share something I learned about writing while drafting this essay: start writing at the moment of the epiphany. Go back and add context later if needed. I was frustrated I couldn’t convey this insight the way I wanted to. Maybe I’ll try again another time. Next week I’ll be shifting gears with a letter to my daughter. In the meantime, enjoy my journey to realizing I’ve had what I’ve been seeking.
Over the past few years, life handed me lessons wrapped in loss. Death had compelled me to confront the reality of my existence. In the solitude of running along the seawall, feeling each breath against the backdrop of the vast ocean, and in the shared silence of yoga, I contemplated my transient journey on Earth. As grief peeled away my ambitions, it exposed a raw, unvarnished truth: dwarfed by the universe's vast expanse, nothing I did or didn't do mattered.
Acknowledging my smallness grounded me, giving me a broader understanding of life's interconnectedness. At the most foundational level, we are all part of a collective whole. Every life impacts another, a network of exchanges forming who we are. So while nothing matters, everything has an impact.
Each loss, a thread unraveling what I thought life was, led me to question: What truly matters in the grand scheme of existence? In my quest for meaning, I stumbled upon a video where I heard Oprah say,
“We are all the same…all of us are seeking the same thing…everybody wants
to fulfill the highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being.”
This struck a chord within me and became my mission in life. I hadn’t known what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to create and express myself through my work. On this journey, I dabbled with digital illustrations, capturing emotions in simple lines, podcasted my thoughts into the ether, and crafted digital experiences. Each medium was a dialogue with my inner self, yet something was missing.
It wasn’t until I started writing essays for this very newsletter, originating from assignments from my writing course, that I could navigate the intricate pathways of my deepest self. For example, I learned:
By letting go of the outcome, I can enjoy the process of a challenging endeavour
I gained new perspectives on my role in my first marriage's end
While penning last week’s essay on mantras, I had a revelation:
In baring my soul through words, I was already embodying the highest expression of myself.
Vulnerability and authenticity in my writing not only offered catharsis but also deep fulfillment. I wouldn’t have been able to write with such openness if it weren’t for this course being focused on 'writing through conversation', which was further enriched by thought-provoking feedback from fellow students. Their insightful questions prompted deeper reflection on the experiences I shared, enhancing my writing journey.
Being vulnerable in writing was one thing, but sharing it was key. In the past I wouldn’t have hit “publish” for fear of the potential impact to my reputation or employability. Seeing examples of deeply personal writing helped me feel comfortable sharing. The private messages and support I’ve received makes me wonder what exactly I was afraid of.
By sharing, I am living authentically and connecting with others. And in that moment, I am fulfilling the highest, truest expression of myself.
This epiphany was transformative, helping me realize that often, what I'm searching for is already within my grasp. It doesn’t need to be permanent to be acknowledged. Such an understanding reshapes how I view my journey ahead. As I continue to explore and express myself, I am now armed with the knowledge that the essence of what I seek – authenticity, fulfillment, and self-expression – has always been a part of me.
Moving forward, I pledge to approach each new quest, not as a search for something missing, but as an opportunity to uncover and celebrate what is already there. In every step, every word, and every shared experience, I will remember, in some way, I am living the highest, truest expression of myself as a human being.
I’d love to hear about what ways are you expressing your authentic self and any writing tips you have for putting words to your experiences.
I am 100% on board with this idea of revealing and celebrating what’s already there instead of looking for what we think is missing. We are due for another chat soon!
I am honored to have been apart of your journey Miche. Your embrace of honest expression continues to enrich me.
When I feel the path disappear before me, as I seek to say something authentic, it often comes when I have granted the authority of my story to someone or something outside of myself. When I reclaim that authority then nothing can stop authentic writing.
Authors require authority for authenticity.